The Art of Gratitude

I can’t remember when I wrote my first thank-you note, probably when I could barely print.  I learned from my mother at a very early age that expressing gratitude was important and good manners.  At the time, the thank-you notes and personal phone calls seemed like a punishment.  Honestly, how thankful is a six year old for new pajamas?  Nevertheless, to this day I continue to express gratitude for gifts, interviews, appointments, referrals, and small acts of kindness I receive.  For me it has become a discipline of grateful living; a discipline which is sadly disappearing in an age of entitlement that puts less value on the importance of the written word and a sincere “thank you.”

In the era of e-mail, texting and voicemail, the art of a heartfelt thank-you has gotten lost somewhere with our record players and banana-seat bicycles.  I know what you are probably thinking:  (1) you are obviously younger than I and have no idea what a record player or banana-seat bicycle is or (2) giving should be unconditional; if someone expects to be thanked then what they did was not really a gift.  Yet, a sincere expression of gratitude is important because it builds relationships; it demonstrates warmth and paying attention to the kindness of others.  It establishes a more personal connection.

So, in this age of hectic lifestyles and 60 hour work weeks, how and where does one find time to show heartfelt gratitude?

Remember what your mother told you, “Manners aren’t ever out of fashion.”  Even when we are living life on the fast track, we need to take time each day to slow down and be people of grace and gratitude.  One way to do this is with a handwritten note or card.  Keep a stack of blank note cards on hand.  When a friend, client or acquaintance does something you appreciate – let them know!  Forget the e-mail message; people will recognize and appreciate the time and effort you to took to personally handwrite the note.  I know a woman who sends out a handwritten note to every new person she meets at business events.  It not only makes the recipient feel that she truly enjoyed meeting them but also lends a lot of credibility to the woman’s business.

Another way to show good manners is to go out of your way to thank them in person.  Look them in the eye and say “thank you”.  All of us have been subjected to the store clerk that never says “thank you” or mumbles something undecipherable as you pay your bill.  You wonder if they really appreciate that you are patronizing their store – which in turn keeps them employed.  I often wonder if the store owner knows how poorly the clerk comes across.  Whether you own a business or are just thanking a teacher, coach, or co-worker for their extra effort, look them in the eye and give a heartfelt “thank you”.  If you are a business person, this personal touch could lead to additional business.  If you are a parent, this could lead to additional personal attention that is given to your child.  It might even lead to that crabby co-worker helping you out more!

If it is impossible to thank them in person, take five minutes and call them on the phone.  You might be surprised by the results.  Time and time again, we see that “what goes around comes around”.  Gratitude, when expressed, almost always boomerangs back.

Finally, for those people who really go out of their way for you, remember them with a small token of your appreciation.  Whether it is for their birthday, a holiday, or for no occasion at all, let them know that you appreciate them.  Steve does a great job in this area with his “Just Keep Talking” program.  He doesn’t need to give these gifts, but it builds his relationships with his clients…most of whom become trusted friends.  Several clients of mine send out small thank-you gifts at Thanksgiving.  The gifts are nothing large (most under $20)… just small tokens of their gratitude for people’s business, referrals, or help on special projects throughout the year.  My clients tell me that this strengthens their personal and professional relationships as the recipients feel genuinely appreciated and are touched that someone went out of their way to remember them.

In closing I will leave you to ponder two quotes on gratitude that spoke to my heart when I decided to start my gift-basket business years ago. “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others,”Cicero, and  “No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks,” Saint Ambrose.

Teresa Downham is the founder and owner of Everything Indiana LLC.  Everything Indiana is a Fishers-based company that specializes in creative, hand-made gift baskets composed entirely from an array of products from Indiana Companies and Specialty Shops.  Everything Indiana gift items are suitable for any gift-giving occasion and favored by corporations, Indiana residents, and Hoosier expatriates!  She tailors each basket to its ultimate receiver and is always updating her products.  In addition, Teresa is a member of the Fishers Chamber of Commerce, The Hamilton County Convention & Visitors Bureau, The Hamilton County Alliance, and Business Network International.  Contact Teresa at 317-679-5893 or sales@EverythingIndiana.com.  Visit her website at www.EverythingIndiana.com.

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